Friday, February 23, 2007

Blogging is dumb.

...or at least I used to think so. Like, who are you and who really cares about your musings?! And now here I self-indulgent!! I never had any interest whatsoever in blogging myself, although I get a perverse thrill out of reading certain other people's!! No interest whatsoever, that is, until...until Cody was born. So, basically, for like...the past 19 days the thought's been growing on me! (I feel the need to justify this, or explain myself...humour me!) I find myself sitting up in the middle of the night, feeding Cody, or just watching him, and my brain kicks into gear...I start having all these thoughts about my life, my children, my husband, my past, my present, and the future...and I start thinking that I should be keeping a journal - as an outlet for myself, as a reference for myself, and also as an archive perhaps for my children one that they can know me and my thoughts for them and their lives - so that they can know what I thought of them, what I felt for them, and what my intentions were...(this is creepy - I'm talking about myself in the past tense!), and so that maybe they can know that I never meant for them to end up in therapy...(tee hee). Why not just write in a journal or a diary? Why blog?! Well, I do try to stay current. Plus, my hand with a pen cannot keep up with my brain, but two hands typing...I stand a better chance. I also like the idea of being able to illustrate my 'journal' in all those tekky kind of ways...once I figure out *how*, that is, or until I get Steve to do if for me! :) And then I can just print my blog, and make a journal out of the copies. Seems easier for this time-pressed mom. So why, you ask, did I invite you three (Steve, Hilary, Neil) to this blog? Well, cause I couldn't figure out how to bypass the 'invite a friend' option and still get my blog started :), plus - I wonder, if a blog falls in the forest and nobody hears it...Actually, I guess I'm hoping for the occasional feedback from you, I usually end up blabbing about all my random thoughts to you all anyways - this might save us all a bit of time! And again, in regards to this blog being intended as a journal that I might want to pass along to my children someday, you three are crucial to my life as well as my children's lives, so any input or contribution you make would be valuable to them. And me. No pressure though! Don't feel like you HAVE to read this rambling, droning, grammatically incorrect document, or provide any kind of comments, etc...I'm not necessarily going to write TO my kids here...I'm not actually quite sure what I'm going to do here really, or where I'm going with this...I don't have a long-term or commited plan. I'm just trying this out. For those times when I wake up in the middle of the night and think I have something really important to say, or when I'm in the bathroom and some of my best thoughts come to me...or when I need to vent and I don't want to risk an actual encounter with a person...maybe that's when I'll find myself here. Boy, this really IS self-indulgent, isn't it?! So I think I'm done for now. Maybe I'll post again later today, maybe in a few days, maybe never again. Who knows?! Aaahh...I feel such artistic freedom...blogging really is therapeutic! :) Stay tuned...mwah hah hah!!!

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