Saturday, September 13, 2008

Random Thoughts...

…Not the most original title for a blog posting - but appropriate in this case! In fact, most of what I think of writing about would fall into the ‘Random’ category…I seem to have a lot to say about nothing in particular. Nothing earth shattering, nothing purposeful…just bits and pieces of this and that. And I’m okay with that! I’m sure there are blogs out there with lofty aspirations, that are driven, on a righteous mission. Intellectually sound, well researched, and grammatically flawless . Alas, this is not one of them. Sometimes I feel like I have a lot to blog about and other times...I got nuthin'. And yet I always have an urge to write. So I do, and wherever it goes, so it goes. The purpose of this paragraph, I suppose, is not so much to serve as a warning, but more of a disclaimer. So here goes…

I’m walking home from work yesterday. Late afternoon, glorious sunshine - a brilliant Vancouver-in-early-September day. A lot of people are out walking with their dogs, children, etc. I’m powering along, making it count, and eager to get home for an evening out with my husband (thank you, Grandma and Grandpa L for taking all three children overnight!). I’m rapidly gaining on an older/elderly-looking woman who is making her way along the sidewalk slowly but surely (in alarmingly wobbly-looking wedgie slip-on sandals - yikes! I‘m praying that she doesn’t twist her ankle or fall down!). As I am close enough behind her that I’m beginning to move onto the grass strip between the sidewalk and the road so as not to bump into her and also to ensure that she doesn’t have to maneuver over to allow me to pass, the thought crosses my mind - should I give her some kind of warning that somebody is approaching behind her? Shout out a little ‘passing on your right!’, or ‘Oop! Pardon me, excuse me, coming round!’ but then I decide, nah, that might startle her more than anything else and now I’m close enough that even if I gave my keys a little jingle (which I can’t because they’re buried in my oversized and cluttered purse) or cleared my throat/gave a little cough/ahem, I’d already be past her, so I just pull out and start to pass. Well. That little old lady jumped and shrieked and clutched her hands and purse to her chest because apparently, I’d caught her quite unawares and gave her a dreadful fright! I slowed and looked at her - I think my eyes were as wide-open as they’d ever been because I was so surprised and horrified that I’d scared her so badly. Once she got a look at me and realized I was just a harmless, decent-appearing (and casually but chicly dressed as well, I might add!) fellow woman, she smiled somewhat shakily but sheepishly and apologized, all at the same time I was already offering forth my sincere apologies. We continued apologizing to each other for some time, both of us earnestly and adamantly excusing the other while claiming the responsibility of the little incident as our own, then we got to chatting briefly about oh, whereabouts in the neighbourhood do you live, I’m just walking down to the store for milk, it’s very nice to meet you, etc, etc. and then I said good-bye, big wave, and powered on again.
So now I’m thinking - why didn’t I just call out a little warning for her? I know what it’s like to have somebody come up from behind and startle me while I’m out walking or shopping or whatever…why didn’t I show her the consideration and sensitivity that I myself have a personal awareness of? And the reason why is really the reason why I don’t do a lot of seemingly ’little things’…I overthought it. I questioned myself. I didn’t go with my ’gut instinct’. And I regret that! And I am going to make a very real and conscious attempt to NOT do that anymore! Because this is not the first time that I’ve found myself thinking about something after the fact and wishing I’d done it differently. Done it the way I’d FIRST thought about doing it before I muddled my head up with numerous other questions and considerations. So, nice little lady out there in the ‘hood - my sincere apologies once again. And, my sincere pledge that I will do better than that next time. I will do what I feel to be the right thing to do as I would appreciate someone doing for me! And I hope to see you ‘round here again - most definitely under less alarming circumstances!

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