Thursday, October 16, 2008
I'm back on the wagon!! The Weight Watchers wagon, that is! I started Weight Watchers back in January or February of this year and BANG!! I shot out of the gate like gangbusters!! I was so focused, so driven, so determined...and I lost 25 pounds! I felt great!
I'd gotten started on Weight Watchers after an epiphany of sorts. It was quite powerful actually, and that's why my commitment to success had been so easy and so effectual. And then, summer came along, routines shifted, patios opened...and just as quickly and thoroughly as I had shot off on my weight loss journey, I totally lost it. Completely, utterly, wholly. The focus, the drive - gone. It's not that I wanted to stop...and I thought about getting back on track every day...but I just couldn't rally the single-mindedness I'd started out with. Being the 'person of extremes' that I am, I had been 'all in' and now I was 'all out'!
I got on the scale almost daily and kept breathing a sigh of relief that I hadn't gained any weight back...and I kept telling myself I'd get back to it. And then another week would pass, and then another...Poor eating habits slowly resumed and stepping up onto the scale became a gamble. How far could I push it without gaining any weight? Drinking wine more often? Fast food here and there? The occasional chocolate bar or ice cream? And somehow, week after week, I got away with it. The scale stuck by me, my stalwart friend.
Then, within the last week or so, I could feel a certain unease niggling at the back of my brain. Something was brewing in there but I wasn't quite sure what. So I waited, slightly apprehensive, slightly excited. What was coming? Something was up...and then, BAM! There it was! The niggling had developed into a fully formed decision that I hadn't even been aware that I was making: 'IT'S TIME. Go back. Start again with Weight Watchers. You're going to do it.' And so I rejoined. From the beginning. And while this time, it wasn't as much an epiphany as it was, perhaps, a more subtle affirmation, I feel that same determination and focus. It's back!
Today was my first full day back on the program. And like my first day back in January/February, it was tough and exhilarating all at once. I found myself mindlessly reaching for snacks a few times, and Jonesing for some munchies, especially in the evening, but I also felt empowered by finding healthy, 'low points' alternatives and also by talking/thinking my way through old habits and reflexes. By the end of the day I'd kept within my points allowance and found Day 1 to be pretty painless overall. So I've got one full, successful day under my belt. What works for me is taking it one day at a time, which I believe is a philosophy used by Alcoholics Anonymous (there are parallels there, me thinks!). I find that it's a phrase that easily comes to mind when working my way through weight loss. All I need to do is get through one full day well and successfully. Then, it's done. One day. And then all I have to do is get through one day again. And again. And again, until I find that a full week has gone by and it's time to step on the scale again at another meeting. And I know that if I've been honest with myself, and diligent - I'm going to get results. If I follow the program, it works. It has to. There really aren't any magic tricks or (easier) back roads to take. It's a pretty straightforward science. Eat less (and eat smart!) and move more, and the weight will come off. Maybe not as quickly as I'd like, but surely, and in a healthy way. I can live with that!
So I feel like a new convert all over again and I'm up on the rooftops, singing and praising! Which makes me feel somewhat goofy and sheepish...but, what the hell. All I've got to say is, whoooooo hooooo!!!! Feels good!