Another 'Out of the mouths of babes' Casey anecdote...(Warning - the topic this time is 'penises')

Kids say the darndest things! Especially 5 year-old boy kids! A conversation with Casey from a few mornings ago...

Casey: "Mommy! Girls don't have penises!"

Me: "That's right, Casey. That's one of the ways that girls and boys are different."

Casey: "But Mommy, do you know what that means?"

Me: "What?"

Casey: "That means that girls have one less bone than boys do!"

I started to fumble my way through an explanation and then I stopped and said, "You go ask Daddy to talk with you about this". I mean, really. I've given up my Super Mom ways. I DON'T have to do it all! :)

Insomnia Sucks!!

Insomnia sucks. I don't get it. I'm on the go all day. By 7:30 pm, I'm barely functioning. I'm counting the seconds until the kids go to bed because I am wiped out. I have no energy left to do anything that I need to do (laundry, dishes, etc.) and sadly and with certainty, no energy left to do anything pleasurable just for me (Photoshop, scrapbooking, etc.). I can't keep my eyes open so I either fall asleep on the couch, or - with great effort and feeling so hard done by, I make my way up to bed. I have no problem falling asleep. The first time. But come 3 am, sometimes not until 4 am, and last night - as damn early as 1 am - I wake up. Not for any reason except that it is time. Time to wake up and lie there. Awake. And tired. But unable to sleep. Uncomfortable. Tossing. Turning. Getting up to pee. Getting up again for water. Getting up again to go back down to the couch in the hopes that this time, the couch might actually be the final, magical solution. Doing some Sudoko. Flipping through a magazine. Working on a crossword. Just lying there doing nothing. And I can't sleep! I try not to look at the time because I don't want to know how much time is left before I have to get up. Thinking that even if I get back to sleep and end up having to wake up in twenty minutes, if I don't know that it was only twenty minutes, I might be able to tell myself it was a longer, more significant amount of time and therefore feel the benefits! And the most frustrating thing about not being able to sleep is that I am tired. And although I consider doing something just so as not to be lying there getting increasingly frustrated, and I toy with the idea of doing something purely indulgent that I most often do not have the time to do, I can't bring myself to bother doing anything because I am too tired to do anything. INCLUDING sleep, it seems! That's the only damn thing I want to be doing at 1 or 3 or 4 a.m. Aaarrgh!!! Am I insane?! It's absolutely maddening!! And what is happening now is that I am beginning to obsess about my sleep patterns in my waking hours. And I try not to because I don't want to give these issues any more power than they already have, but I'm painfully, stressfully, strainingly tired and I can't ignore it! So I start worrying about tonight. What if it happens tonight?! It can't possibly because I am beyond tired now, and yet...maybe it could happen. Maybe it will happen. And then what?! Good God! And I mean, please...I NEED my beauty sleep! Like, REALLY badly! There's nothing worse than feeling like a hag inside and then getting a look at yourself in the mirror only to realize that you actually look like that inner hag! On the outside! This is all too much for me. Truly. What's the answer...the magic solution?! Wine? Ativan? Sex? Exercise? Meditation? All of the above, not necessarily in that order?! I just don't know. And - I'm too tired to even be thinking about it. So - another evening is upon me and I'll be giving it another shot. Maybe this phase is passing and I won't have to spend another day at work nodding off in mid-task then looking around in panic, desperately hoping that nobody noticed! Another evening of praying that in the two hours or so that I spend with my children between dinner time and bedtime, I can muster some enthusiasm and humour. Rustle me up some patience and energy with which to savour this quality time...

Wow. This is turning into quite the melodramatic sob story! Must just be my diminished, fragile, sleep deprived state of mind. Oh lawd, I can't stop! It's time for me to cut and run! Here's hoping for an inspirational turn around for tomorrow! Night night! Sleep tight!

A joke, by Casey...(WARNING! Flatulence is key theme...)

Yes, that's right. This entry is about flatulence. Well, actually - it's not directly about flatulence, but like a lot of things in my household it seems, flatulence plays a key role...

Anyway, today was a 'work' morning for me and so I was up extra early, doing my thing - trying to get ready and out of the house on time. A MAJOR challenge and accomplishment, I might add!! So just Casey was up - he seems to listen for me on the mornings I have to work and, as he at one time announced to Grandma Margaret, he is an early riser, so he was up with me (which I love, although the boy needs more sleep than he gets!! But, it's nice having some one-on-one time with him to start the day while the house is quiet!) I digress! (So unusual, I know! ;) ) So Casey asks me for some cereal. I had bought one of those Kelloggs assorted packs of mini boxes of cereal (NOT something I do very often at all! SUGAR cereals! Yuck! Big no no!) so I offered him a choice. He picked 'Corn Pops' (the 'assortment' had quickly been reduced to either that, or Rice Krispies! I mean, come on, we all know that the Fruit Loops go first!!) and of course, he wanted to eat it out of the box like you're meant to when you're camping, so I mutter under my breath about Steve ever showing Casey that option - I'd have never started that, grump, grump, grump...I then spend too many precious minutes finding a (dull like all the others) but clean (unlike all the others) knife to slice the box open because of course, there are no 'kitchen' scissors to be found (they are off galavanting with the better halves of all the kids socks in the land of 'Lost & Never Never Found' apparently...), and serve him his little cavity-causing, diabetes-inducing treat of Corn Pops for breakfast. He's munching away, happy as a sugary little clam, while I am slapping on my makeup, when - in the hushed quiet of our 'just Mommy and me' morning moment, he let's out a huge, long, reverberating, classic Casey toot. (Yes, that's right - in my house we still call them 'toots' - 'farts' just sounds too harsh and raunchy for my delicate sensibilities...). I glance over at him, one eyebrow raised, with an 'are you kidding me?! And where are your manners?!' look. Casey looks back at me, not sheepish or remorseful at all, and says,"Now I know why they call them 'Corn POPS'!". And just like that, our 'nice' morning together has been transformed into a 'magical' morning - my precious, brown-eyed baby boy has just made his first 'official' sophisticated joke! A 'mark it on the calendar' moment! And all because of a...toot!

It's About Family!

Hello, Blog! Yes, I've been away for a long time. But now I'm back so let's just carry on without any explanations or excuses, shall we?!

Scrapbooking! That's what I want to talk about today! I haven't done any scrapbooking for awhile, and I feel a big urge coming on...I've been card making because it somehow seems like less of a time commitment, but it's time for scrappin'! I've had all kinds of ideas percolating in my brain today and I've decided to start work on an album about family. In fact, I just might call the album "It's About Family"! I want to incorporate stories about traditions and sayings and random memories from my side, Steve's side, AND from our little big-ish family that we've got together! Once the mind starts running, all kinds of funny thoughts and memories come forward out of the mist! :) Just off the top of my head, under the heading of 'Random Childhood Memories', I've got 'The Green Chair', 'Sneaking up on Grandma and Grandpa', 'The Magic Fish', 'Banana Pancakes (including Dad's vibrating hum)', "The Mall", the Easter of the Ralph Lauren perfume, the morning that I came downstairs to find the cut-up construction paper...See?! The memories just come pouring out! And under the heading of 'Family Sayings/Isms'? There's 'Pernima', 'Jid, Did, and Nels', 'Dad's Foghorn', 'Mr. Hey Hey', and also 'Qua' - but that one will have to be handled 'delicately', so as not to embarrass or anger certain individuals...And what about 'Family Secrets - AKA - 'The embarrassing/unflattering/tough kind of stuff'?' Like...the wooden spoon, 'The Mary Jane Discovery', the CB, painting with poo. Ah yes. Quite the list. These are the stories that (mostly) just make me and my brother and sister laugh (cringe?!), the stories that MY children have maybe heard bits and pieces of, and that I want to have written out so that they can be looked back upon over the years, laughed about all over again, and also - added to! So now - I can leave the blogging of it for now, and actually get to the 'getting it started' phase. And this is one of those projects that, while eventually ongoing, I really hope to 'finish' soon so that the groundwork is done, and the 'adding to' process can begin! So here I go! Wish me luck, and 'chat' with you again soon! :)

Today has been...

A perfect day! Granted, it was my turn to get up with the kids...they didn't get up as painfully early as they usually do! And, thanks to my brilliant new water/sand table purchase, were happy and busy, and all without me! THEN - they both ended up napping on the couch with me from 9:30 am to 11:00 am, which meant that I too got to catch a bit of snooze time! :) Steve was still asleep so it was high time he was awoken, and then me 'n the boys headed out to the backyard so that they could play and I could get some yard/garden work done. Steve headed out for his own bunch of garden/landscaping supplies AND an iced coffee for me, and by the time he got home at 3 pm (yes, he was gone for three hours!!), I'd gotten a ton done in the back, I'd had some 'me' time on the computer, and had fed the kids lunch! SUCH a productive morning/early afternoon! :) And the fun wasn't over yet! Chanel was lurking about so I forced her to spend some quality time with her littlest brother while I got even more done in the yard! I now feel like the back yard is in good shape for summer and can be used and enjoyed fully from this point forward! :) And did I mention that the last two days have been PERFECTLY summery?! Super hot, super sunny...super good for my frame of mind! And the fun continues still with Steve prepping the BBQ (steak), me with two very cold, very refreshing Coors Light (1 point each on my Weight Watchers plan!) under me belt, and the boys (plus Julia) running amok through the house and happy! My plans for the rest of the evening include word games on Facebook, some scrappin' mags, laundry continued at a leisurely pace, Stevie bathing the boys and getting them to bed, a hot bath for me to scrub off all the dirt and grime from my earlier hard work, and then the couch, the TV, and the husband - it's the simple pleasures, ya know?! A perfectly spent Sunday on the May long weekend, with a day at the Point to look forward to tomorrow. Oh yeah, and it's MY turn to sleep in! Yeehaw! :) Also worth mentioning - Steve finished some more of the cobblestone patio in the front yard and finally got tomatoes planted...something he's been talking about doing for about three years! Good stuff!

I Believe.

I believe...that I might attempt to enter the Memory Makers Masters 2008 contest. One of the requirements is to submit an original 12X12 layout based on the theme, 'I Believe' so here are some thoughts so far...

"I believe that family is everything.

I believe that I just might make it to summer!

I believe that I will never be completely organized

I believe I can and I will reach my weight loss/healthier lifestyle goals!

I believe that there is a diaper that needs changing right now.

I believe that it's 5 o'clock somewhere!

I believe that redheads can wear any darn colour that they'd like!

I believe that a lot of clouds have silver linings, and that it is always darkest before the dawn.

I believe that I am a good mother.

I believe in keeping all my scraps because I really will use them all up one day!

I believe that within any child, there really is unlimited possibilities...

I believe in the wisdom of our elders.

I believe that when I am alone, I'm a really great singer!

I believe that my husband is my one true soul mate.

I believe we all need a girls night out every now and then!

I believe that books and music are good for the soul.

I believe that right here, right now, there really is no place I'd rather be!"

I think this pretty much sums it up right now! Feels good to think about this stuff! :)

Out of the mouths of babes...

C: Mommy?

M: What?

C: I don’t want to be a daddy.

M: Why?!

C: Because I don’t want to get cut when we don’t want any more kids. I don’t like getting cut.

(Casey – Feb 17, 2008 – 3 days after Daddy’s vasectomy)

A month to the day later...

...and another post from me. In the last post I made, I vowed to start a 'photo of the day' posting or 'sub-blog'...well, surprise! I haven't done that. I've probably almost taken at least a photo a day, but I haven't gone beyond that (i.e. the uploading, sorting, organizing, editing, posting, etc.)! I have a whole whack of reasons - NO TIME being the main one! So, I'm officially tossing the photo-a-day commitment out the window, and I commit to making no more commitments!!

I've got more I could type, but it's almost bedtime for Casey and Cody so NOW is NOT the most optimal time. Which is quite often the case, isn't it?! Ciao for now! :)

Time surely flies (whether you're having fun or not!)

...but I have to say - I've been having fun. Mostly.

I can't believe it's been EIGHT months since I last wrote something here. Well, I mean, I CAN believe it because I haven't even entertained the thought of trying because I've been so busy in my primarily disheveled and inefficient way...but I'm so glad to be back! And I want to make this blog a real priority because I'm in tears just reading back over the few posts that I made! Which is in keeping with my original reasons for starting this blog up - I wanted to capture my thoughts about my children (and husband! :)) and our life so that one day, we could look back - in months, or even years, and remember, reflect, laugh, and tear up too! So it's working! I did just that tonight! And I vow to keep at it - and NOT think of it as just another chore or obligation to get to because really - it's therapeutic for me. And of value. So call it a 'delayed' resolution for the New Year.

I was also inspired to revisit this blog because of something I read on somebody else's blog. She's not somebody I know - she is a Design Team member at a scrapbooking website I visit. I linked to her blog from a post she made and I was caught up in her photos and her resolve to start a 'Photo Of The Day' posting. I love that idea! So - I have a lot to learn about managing the technical side of this whole blog thing, but starting tomorrow, I'm going to get on this photo thing! And I have a whole heckuva lot more to write about my amazing children - like the fact that my baby Cody is now 11 months old! He was only 8 WEEKS old in the last post I made here!! And Chanel and her incredible dedication to her sports...and Casey and his continuing sweetness...And Steve. My less-often mentioned but fully appreciated wonderful husband whose negotiating skills are truly admirable! ;) Gotta remember that the new furniture is being delivered this Tuesday...

I could write all night but fear I won't be able to drink enough tea tomorrow to compensate for the lack of sleep...never mind all the trips to the bathroom with Cody hot on my heels and complaining loudly and persistently about me leaving him for 30 seconds...it's already almost 1 a.m. Ack! Tomorrow is the first day back to school after the Christmas break for Chanel and Casey and it always takes awhile to get back into the swing of things...I project that the morning is going to be a bit...hectic. And hopefully these stirring sounds that are coming over the baby monitor don't amount to anything! Oh Lawd! Must...stop...typing...

My sweetheart Casey

Casey is the sweetest boy. Ever. In the history of the world. There are a million reasons and examples I could give, but here is what touched me today...

Casey and I were reading a book we got out of the library called 'Bill In A China Shop'. It's about a bull who enters a china shop and spots the teacup of his dreams. He just can't leave the store without it, but sure enough - he IS a bull in a china shop and some unfortunate accidents occur. The clerk is snobby and rude and refuses to sell poor Bill the teacup he so fancies. Along with some writing about how upset Bill is, there is an illustration of Bill with tears brimming in his eyes. Well. I look down at Casey and the look on his face...he is big-eyed and sorrowful - he truly looks as if he's about to cry! He asked me, "Is da bull doing to get the teacup dat he loves?" and, "Why does the man teep saying dat?" because the store clerk kept saying, "A bull does not belong in a china shop". So I make some kind of chipper quip about how I was sure there was going to be a happy ending, I quickly flip the page and read on, hoping that something comes along to brighten my baby's blue skies!! Sure enough, a happy ending. Not only does Bill end up with his coveted and beloved teacup, but he comes away with three dear new friends to boot!
So I close the book and look down again at Casey. He is looking much relieved and appeased. I said, "You looked like you were getting a bit upset about Bill", and Casey said, "Yeah, I felt like I was doing to twy!". I asked him why he felt like he might cry, and he said because it was very sad. That boy has empathy. I mean, really!! And this is not the first time I've noticed it. It's always been there, and always been apparent. With me, with his sister, and now his brother - with other children anywhere - out on the playground, at preschool...whether he knows them or not, he has always been quick to run up to a child who's fallen down, or who's dropped her popsicle, and put his arm around them and say, 'it's otay!', or, 'are you awright?', or 'don't worry!'. Any time he's ever seen me cry or bothered by something, he comes over and hugs me and says, "I love you. You're a dood mommy". Whenever Cody starts to fuss, Casey goes to him and says in the sweetest, high, little sing-song way, "Tody!". And today, when Chanel was feeling upset and frustrated by her inability to get the hang of the high jump in P.E., Casey relayed an anecdote to her about something - I can't remember what (and oh how I wish I could!), and Chanel (in typical Chanel fashion) responded that what he said had nothing to do with anything, I pointed out to her that what Casey was doing was trying to make her feel better. And that's exactly what he was doing in his sweet, three year old way. He is deeply aware of others, and he amazes me with the depth and maturity with which he responds to other people's (or bulls!) feelings. I love that little guy. I get choked up just thinking about him and his sweetness. And you can be sure that were he to see me right now, he'd have his little hands on my leg and he'd look up into my face with his big, beautiful brown eyes and he'd say, "I love you. You're a dood mommy".

Chanel at 11...(so far!)

• Grade 6


• Lifesong to Champlain again


• pigtails


• ears pierced


• ice hockey


• wearing Canucks and Penguins jerseys


• Tae Kwon Do


• IPod Nano


• The Sims


• MSN (dustbunnydog@hotmail.com)

I love you, little girl!!

Cody Baby

Well, Cody, you are 8 weeks old today! 8 weeks! Where has the time gone?! What have I been doing?! 8 weeks has just flown by... You are so loved. By all of us. We all tell you that numerous times a day. You are so cute!! Those big blue eyes...of my three babies, I think your eyes are the biggest! The day after your 6 week mark, you smiled so big at Casey, and now you smile so big so readily...Both Chanel and I are so caught up in your smiles that we can't tear ourselves away - you hold us captive when you are smiling at us, and we will do anything for however long it takes just to keep you smiling. I call you Mr. Pleasant. You just are. You are content and peaceful most of the time. So easygoing. And thank goodness, what with being my third child!! I couldn't ask for a better baby. I never thought that having three children could be so easy... You are chubbing up and looking so big! You are quite often happy just lying on your blankets on the floor or sitting in your chair punching and kicking so enthusiastically. You are really working your little body and figuring it all out! And you are SO strong!! You hold your head up so well - and longer and stronger every day! And when I hold you up with your feet on my legs, you push yourself up into a standing position and hold your head up with your big blue eyes open so wide and bright... I'm writing this at 12:18 am. Daddy has taken you to bed and I can't stand it any longer - just writing this about you makes me want to rush upstairs and scoop you up and kiss your sweet soft baby cheeks and breathe in your sweet baby breath...I'm signing off and I'm going to do just that!! I love you, baby boy. Mommy. xoxoxo

3 a.m. eternal

I started this blog so that I could capture all my deepest thoughts about life, etc. but the only time I seem to have deep thoughts is when I'm two stories away from my computer in the middle of the night, like around 3 a.m. or so...What I really need is a laptop that I can sleep with so that instead of scribbling on scrap paper in the dark, I can log on from my bed and get really profound. Last night's thoughts centered around memories of Powell River - specifically my grandparents' house - and then they spun off into wondering about what my children's significant memories of their childhood will be as adults, and then my mother's scrapbook and when did she put it together, anyways?! Last night - or more specifically, at about 3 a.m. this morning, it seemed REALLY important that I ask my mother about her scrapbook, but of course today I didn't get around to calling her. 3 a.m. is also a very wonderful time to get anxious about your children having not seen a dentist in a very long time, though again, there is never time the next day, or even the thought of it, to call a dentist to book an appointment. I wonder what tonights pressing issues will be...I THOUGHT THE DRUGS WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF THIS KIND OF THING?! (sigh...)

Blogging is dumb.

...or at least I used to think so. Like, who are you and who really cares about your musings?! And now here I am...so self-indulgent!! I never had any interest whatsoever in blogging myself, although I get a perverse thrill out of reading certain other people's!! No interest whatsoever, that is, until...until Cody was born. So, basically, for like...the past 19 days the thought's been growing on me! (I feel the need to justify this, or explain myself...humour me!) I find myself sitting up in the middle of the night, feeding Cody, or just watching him, and my brain kicks into gear...I start having all these thoughts about my life, my children, my husband, my family...my past, my present, and the future...and I start thinking that I should be keeping a journal - as an outlet for myself, as a reference for myself, and also as an archive perhaps for my children one day...so that they can know me and my thoughts for them and their lives - so that they can know what I thought of them, what I felt for them, and what my intentions were...(this is creepy - I'm talking about myself in the past tense!), and so that maybe they can know that I never meant for them to end up in therapy...(tee hee). Why not just write in a journal or a diary? Why blog?! Well, I do try to stay current. Plus, my hand with a pen cannot keep up with my brain, but two hands typing...I stand a better chance. I also like the idea of being able to illustrate my 'journal' in all those tekky kind of ways...once I figure out *how*, that is, or until I get Steve to do if for me! :) And then I can just print my blog, and make a journal out of the copies. Seems easier for this time-pressed mom. So why, you ask, did I invite you three (Steve, Hilary, Neil) to this blog? Well, cause I couldn't figure out how to bypass the 'invite a friend' option and still get my blog started :), plus - I wonder, if a blog falls in the forest and nobody hears it...Actually, I guess I'm hoping for the occasional feedback from you guys...plus, I usually end up blabbing about all my random thoughts to you all anyways - this might save us all a bit of time! And again, in regards to this blog being intended as a journal that I might want to pass along to my children someday, you three are crucial to my life as well as my children's lives, so any input or contribution you make would be valuable to them. And me. No pressure though! Don't feel like you HAVE to read this rambling, droning, grammatically incorrect document, or provide any kind of comments, etc...I'm not necessarily going to write TO my kids here...I'm not actually quite sure what I'm going to do here really, or where I'm going with this...I don't have a long-term or commited plan. I'm just trying this out. For those times when I wake up in the middle of the night and think I have something really important to say, or when I'm in the bathroom and some of my best thoughts come to me...or when I need to vent and I don't want to risk an actual encounter with a person...maybe that's when I'll find myself here. Boy, this really IS self-indulgent, isn't it?! So I think I'm done for now. Maybe I'll post again later today, maybe in a few days, maybe never again. Who knows?! Aaahh...I feel such artistic freedom...blogging really is therapeutic! :) Stay tuned...mwah hah hah!!!